Bucket list

  Last year I typed my eight  page bucket list. The only thing is I've only crossed out three things out of  eight and a half page booklet. How will i start to do things i truly want when i have no clue where to begin? Some of the things are very far fetched. Things such as : taking my mom to Italy, travel the world, become YouTube famous, and become a millionaire.
  How in the world am i going to do all these things? My bucket list is only eight pages long and I'm going to turn 17 on January 3. As excited as I am I want to live my life with memories. There's a myth that when you die you see your whole life as if it was a movie. The thing is, how do you know if your dead and your seeing memories, or if your alive making them? Why not make a bucket list and cross off everything?! Life is short anyways might as well make the most of it! Yep, that's me. Awkward Rosalee.

"New beginning's inspire a new story

 I'm on a mission this year,2014, to face my fears and do what I actually want. After all, I only turn 17 once. With this in mind my quote for this year is, "New beginning's inspire a new story". One of my goals this year is to be more productive and become an actual novelist. I want to become the first 17 year old author. (Even though it says 16 on my bucket list) A new story has arrived out of the dust that has surrounded this art in my room. 

  The only excuse I have for not finishing the other one was that my laptop doesn't work anymore. Since a virus has taken over my precious laptop I can no longer type from home. The computer that we do have in our sun room is super slow and the connection's are terrible. Therefore, the struggle is real. So real that now on I'll just have to type it when I'm at the library or mom's job.

    This year will be different, hopefully.

Walk of shame.

Have you ever met a person and you guys just connected. I've met a person like that and we are in a 'friendly' realationship. My dad came to the football game today and saw him and I laughing and whispering to each other.  My dad called me and said not to let my 'friend' touch me. Then my 'friend' said that he was going to hug me if my dad wasn't there. Then, after the game was over I wanted to hug my 'friend' but my dad told me to come to the car. The walk of shame set in when my 'friend' saw me walking away. 

Go for it

Be fearless

Prove them wrong

Be yourself

Remember where you came from

Follow your dreams 

Go for it

Easy to forget or can't get rid of.

  Some things are easy to forget.Some things you cant get out of your head. In my head I'm always thinking, where will I be  in five years? Will I be around the same people I see everyday?  What will happen to me in the future?
  The things I forget are objects in my room or misplacing my work when I need it most. One of the things I hate is when I'm missing something but it magically pops up when my mom searches for it. Yep,this is me. Awkward Rosalee.

Nobody cares

I may not know who I'm becoming. I may not know what my sexuality is. However, I do know that nobody cares. For example, when you pay for an item at the cash register that cashier doesn't care about you. There probably tired of seeing people's facing and hearing complaints of every customer. They dont care how much money you make,who your parents are or your SAT score. Nobody actually cares about you in the real world. This may be blunt but it's true.

What's my purpose?

  Many people say that there is a purpose in life that you have to fulfill. My question is how do I fulfill my purpose? What is my  "purpose"? How do I find out what it is? Where can I pursue it?
  Have you ever thought about that? Ever wondered why your on earth? Why are we adapted to society? Why are you reading this blog reminiscing your life?
  Maybe it's just me.Maybe I'm the only one that wants to know what my purpose is.Yep, this is me. Awkward Rosalee.

Him

When I see him my heart pounds.
when I hear his voice my heart feels like it's
jumping out my chest.
Why is that?
Why is it that when I see him with his girlfriend I want to cry?
I hate it.
I hate that feeling of wanting to die,
never to see his face again.
Never to look upon him in my dreams or in person once again.
I've had a crush on him since last year but since I have a class with him
I try my best not to stare...
At his smile,at his lips, those eyes....

I just want to forget.

I can't have him so I will try to forget him.As best as I can.

Everything is different

It's different when we see each other.

The atmosphere makes my heart flutter

Your eyes make my heart jump

When you speak it's like an adrenaline rush that I don't want to stop

Everything....

Everything is different.

By: Awkward Rosalee

In a cross roads

Recently , I have been taking a college prep class while working this summer. In the process I've been looking at colleges, receiving catalogs and testing myself for the SAT in October. However, I find myself in a cross road. On the left road I want to become an author and take journalism + communications. On the right I want to become a singer and songwriter. I don't know what to take in college. I love both so much that it's overwhelming. I narrowed down two colleges that I am really focused on : Hampton and Berklee. Berklee has an actual songwriting and music production majors but they don't have any journalism at all.Hampton has journalism/communications and liberal arts. I know, your probably saying Rosalee go to Hampton!! The only thing is I'm not sure if Hampton's courses are better than Berklee's. I am literally in a cross roads. Yep, this is me. Awkward Rosalee.

Teenagers

We, teenagers,are the depiction of heartbreaks,crazy, and uncontrollable rebellion. We live on acronyms like 'Yolo' and 'FML',only to find out that we are the future.Even though we know that we will have to take over we live selfishly in our lives towards our dreams. Everything we do is just for the fun;the moment to last or like me,you do things to tell your children. Truth is, I've never done anything rebellious. I've never had my first kiss, a relationship, or dance on the dance floor . I don't want to be 35 in a 16 year old body. I want to break out of my shell and mark off my bucket list with pride.Yep,this is me. Awkward Rosalee.

Idk

Most of you know this acronym:Idk. Yep,it stands for 'I Don't know'. Apparently, I have no clue what to talk about but this acronym is interesting. How could a person not know about something? We are humans for god sakes! Aren't we supposed to find out things that we don't know about? I know all of us aren't scientist, but have we become too lazy? Too lazy to figure things out on our own. Sadly we depend on technology for everything. I'm not complaining ,I'm just saying. Yep,this is me.Awkward Rosalee.

Things I look forward to in my future

Things I look Forward to

High school graduation
Getting braces off
College
Part-time job
Bachelor's degree
Masters degree
Selling my first novel before I turn 17
Start Making YouTube videos
Eating healthy
Dyeing hair (peach or brown)
Moving out of my parents house
Buying my first apartment+ house
Buying clothes I want to wear
Cartilage piercing.
Signing a recording contract with a music label
Meet all my favorite celebrities
Have my Mom and Dad live in luxury for the rest of their life

Hand Written Letter's

I don't know if I'm the only one who's noticed, What happened to handwritten letters? Everything is based off of technology now and I'm taking matters into my own hands. This month I am writing letters to all my (closest) friends and my favorite teachers. Honestly, I am giving one of them to my crush tomorrow. I've always had crushes from afar, but now I actually get to confess for real. I'm still second guessing if I should do it or not. I really like him but his signals aren't as clear as I wish they would be. If only people actually said what they felt, the world would be much better. Yep, that's me. Awkward Rosalee.

I am what I am.

I am okay with being myself now. I am no longer looking for people's approval.I look out for myself,family,and friends. I've accepted that I'm clumsy and secretly a hipster. I know have 2 personalities that only certain people see. When I walk near a boy I don't care if he sees me or not. Only my opinions matter to me. Point blank. Yep, that's me. Awkward Rosalee.

I think too much

Have you ever thought about stuff so much that your head might explode? Personally, I over think at the most idiotic things. Sometimes I think I'm abnormal. Whenever I'm at a restaurant, I think about different topics to talk about so that the conversation doesn't become awkward. When I talk to teachers I think about every aspect of myself as they speak to me. "Stand straight, eye contact,listen and nod, listen and nod". Especially when I go to IHOP's. Once I finish my pancakes with one syrup, I feel as if I have to try the rest of them with the rest of my pancakes. I guess it's a mental trick. Think about it, why would they leave so many flavors out? They obviously want me to try them. Yep, this is me. Awkward Rosalee. (: I really miss doing that!hehe!!!

Society is always judgmental

Until I transferred to high school I've never noticed how homophobic children are. They think the most stupidest things are gay :a persons voice,their name,and who they hang out with. I asked my mom why that is and she said " it's because of what their parents taught them". This statement is the bold truth. A lot of adults don't approve with same sex marriage or partners. However,we still have to respect one another and our personnel preferences. No matter what our sexuality is we are humans. Never forget that. Yep, this is me. Awkward Rosalee.

This is me

I am African American.
I am bisexual.
I am in love with Kpop and kdrama's.
I want to live in California and Seattle one day.
I want to become an author and singer/songwriter.
I want to learn korean.
I want to legalize gay marriage.
I want to fall in love.
I want people to accept me.
Only because this is me.

Overthink

Sometimes I overthink everything and forget whats going on around me.For example,this morning I was thinking of whether or not to stick to volley ball or join other clubs when I was supposed to be getting ready for my hair appointment. Things like this keep me unaware of my surroundings. Another thing that's been bothering me is that I care too much about what other people think of me for the past two weeks. I don't know whether or not it comes with puberty but I'm sick about others opinions of me. This weekend I didnt give a second thought about people. If I decide to wear grunge clothes , I will. However I'll have to wait until I move out my Mom's house to  do so. Yep, this is me. Awkward Rosalee.

Forgetful

How many times do you walk into a room before you forget what your doing? I believe everyone has a slow moment in their lifetime, when we forget everything and walk in circles. Has this ever happened to you? You walk into the room for something, then you ask yourself,What did I come in here for? Personally, I become frustrated when I have to walk back to the room and get what I actually needed.Only to forget the item in the room.Yep, this is me. Awkward Rosalee.